Monday, September 5, 2011

An Update on Our Mom

Dear Friends,

If you're a regular reader of our blog, you know what is happening.  If you're new, I'm thankful you found us, but sorry there's not much quilting/sewing going on.  We are going through a difficult time in our family.  This is a personal post so I'll understand if you don't want to read it.

Last Wednesday, as Tony and I were in the midst of packing and cleaning, my dad called and said hospice was expecting my mom to die within 24 hours.  I told my dad to tell my mom to wait for me to get there.  We started driving at 9:30 Thursday morning and got to Tennessee at 3:45 Friday morning. Two vehicles fully loaded; a trailer, also fully loaded; a car top carrier bursting at the seams, and a motorcycle in the back of the truck...slow going.  What normally takes me 14 to 14 1/2 hours took us 18.  Mom was awake and literally waiting on me to get home.  When she saw me, she was so excited, her eyes got big and round and she wouldn't let go of me.  Diana had tried to prepare me for how she looks now, but really, no words could have expressed how she is.  The diseases have ravaged her body.  We stayed up the rest of the night/morning talking and hugging and saying  "I love you" repeatedly.  I lay between my mom and dad on the bed.  She told my dad, "Isn't this wonderful!  My baby is home!" 

I've now been here a little over a week and after the rally Mom had when I came home, she is declining once more.  But not a day, and practically an hour goes by that Mom doesn't tell me that she loves me. Even during the painful process of having a catheter put in, she was telling me she loves me.  Diana was here for several days so Mom had both her kids home together and she repeatedly told us that she loves us and that there was no difference in her love for us.  Like she had to tell us that!

For the next several days after I got here, Mom was making us laugh at the things she said, cracking some jokes, just about every time she was rested and awake.  That is not happening as often now.  We have no way of knowing how long she'll last.  Hospice tells us every death is different but there are common stages.  She is definitely in transition and there are signs she is moving closer to death.  But she could still stay with us for a bit longer.  It's amazing how strong she is, despite the frailness of her body.  She is sleeping/resting more now, not eating or drinking as much, which is to be expected. 

As I sit beside her, watching her breathe, stroking her head, I'm still learning from her. My mom is a highly educated woman, has worked her whole life, been a pivitol part of so many people's lives, loved and served her Lord and family. She says Heaven will be wonderful and smiles when she's talking about it. She is looking forward to seeing Jesus and her mother. She is quick to tell us she loves us. She won't put up with any complaining or whining and she's not afraid to tell you to stop it. She may not know what she wants all the time, but she knows what she doesn't want and lets you know about it. She is such an encourager, thinks I can do anything, and loves the quilt blocks I'm working on as I sit with her. She says she has the most wonderful family. She is proud of her grandchildren and thinks they can do no wrong. She brightens up at just the mention of her great-grandchildren and tells us to let those babies do what they want! (That's not what we heard growing up, I can tell you that!) She is so thankful for the friends that drop by and always tells them she's fine when they ask how she's doing. (Such a Southern lady!) Even though she doesn't understand how people all over the world know about her, she is thankful for your prayers.

I know we are not the only ones going through difficult times.  We deeply appreciate your thoughts and prayers for our family.

LaDonna

23 comments:

  1. LaDonna,

    Your post brought tears to my eyes!!! Such a special lady your mama is!!! Yes, a true Southern Lady. Such a blessing for you to be able to spend her last days bringing her such joy. I think of you often and always lift you and your family up in prayer. I'm excited - I'll get to meet your mama, you and your family in heaven!!!

    Blessings!

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  2. pleins de bisous à vous deux et à votre maman chérie
    je prie pour vous ,soyez fortes dans les épreuves ......... bisous bisous

    Regina

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  3. Hi LaDonna and Diana,
    You guys have been in my thoughts ever since you first let on what was happening and I am so glad you updated us. Treasure this time with your Mama (I know you will). It is so hard to see them go but I know when my Mum passed it was also a relief to know she nolonger suffered or was trapped by a tired body. I hope the rest of her days pass as peacefully as possible. Sending you lots of hugs!

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  4. Your Mother sounds like an amazing woman. What a blessing. Thanks so much for sharing during this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Blessings to you.

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  5. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  6. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. She is very blessed to have you and you to have her. Your strength, love and encouragement are amazing.

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  7. I know partly what you are going through having lost my mum five years ago and being the hospital with her, going home and getting a call a few hours later to go back in and this would happen again over a couple of days. Your mum is very proud of you both and that is giving her strength to get to say goodbye to you all.
    Prayers with you all at this time.

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  8. What an amazing woman! (But you already knew that!) I'm so glad you were able to get there when you did and that she is doing as well as she is. Still in my thoughts and prayers.

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  9. you and your family are still in our prayers. be strong, and keep your faith.

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  10. I'm so sorry for what you are going through, LaDonna. It's so good that you can be with her right now.

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  11. LaDonna you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is great that you can be by her side.
    Hugs
    donna

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  12. LaDonna and Diane, You and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry.

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  13. LaDonna and Diana, your beautiful post brings tears to my eyes. Such a strong and graceful woman, and such a treasure to her family. God Bless You All, now in and the days ahead.

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  14. I was just thinking about you! As hard as it is I'm glad you have this time with your mom and family. Take care.

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  15. All of you are still in my thoughts and prayers. How wonderful it is that you can all be together now.
    Sending you warm hugs,
    Deborah

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  16. Your mother sounds like she is so happy to have you there. You are lucky that she is still lucid and can carry on a conversation. My prayers are with you.

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  17. I feel very close to you. You and your family and your special mom are in my thoughts. Hugs.

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  18. From your post, I can see where you both get your creative and generous spirits from: your Mum sounds like an amazing lady. I feel humbled that you have taken the time to share your life with us. Know that I am thinking about you daily,

    Hugs from Tasmania

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  19. The bond between Mother and Daughter is so strong, how great that you can have this time together. You are all in my thoughts.

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  20. Such a sad, bittersweet time for you and Diana. I am glad that you were all able to spend such meaningful, loving time with your Mom. My thoughts are with you both.

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  21. LaDonna, I sit hear reading your post with tears in my eyes. I have been thinking of you and Diana everyday and wondering how everything is going. Your time with your mom brings back memories of the last days I spent with my mom. She as your mom was so much stronger than we were. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Cherish the time you have. Hugs

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  22. LaDonna and Diane, I am so moved by your post. I am so glad you are able to cherish your last days with your mother. I wish I had had that opportunity with my mother. It doesn't matter your age, it is so hard to lose your mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Deb

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  23. Thank you for sharing your story with us. This must be such a tough time for you both. I am so glad your mom was able to hang on until you got there, and then you were able to spend this time together. It also made me give my daughters some extra hugs and kisses at bedtime tonight. You really helped remind me what is important. She will be in heaven to welcome us home.

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